(01/07/2021) My only company these days. Few months ago, It wouldn’t be enough.
(01/08/2021) 2/3 attempts to bike but the post-recovery is intense with these nicotine withdrawls.
(01/09/2021) Night run to get pizza. The only reason to leave the house
(01/15/2021) You love to cook and bake. I love you and your food.
(01/20/2021) Midnight surprise. Never too sick to make your day special.
(02/15/2021) Freezing weather doesn’t stop us from enjoying the outdoors.
(02/25/2021) Weather turns up, so we come out as a pack.
(02/28/2021) Im starting to recognize myself again. The mental fog and anxiety from the withdrawals is real.
(02/28/2021) For the past 3 months this has been my hangout.
(02/28/2021) You’re cute and a great friend but also fucking annoying with your constant whining.
(03/05/2021) What the past months have looked for me as I went through nicotine withdrawals. Blurry as fuck because of the mental fog.
(03/08/2021) Joyous moment with mother.
(03/09/2021) My morning view as I eat my breakfast outside. It helps with the intense tremors and anxiety Im having.
(03/11/2021) I take the moment to admire you, mother.
(03/13/2021) I see my insignificance staring up at the clouds and I feel joy. It helps with this overwhelming feeling depression gives me. And thinking lightly helps with the thoughts.
(03/16/2021) Dinner at the park with dad. This would be the last time I leave the house.
(03/18/2021) You force me to eat when I don’t feel like it.
(03/18/2021) She always gives me company when I come out.
(03/20/2021) We used to ride everyday. Now, fixing you becomes part of therapy for that one day I am good again to ride.
(03/20/2021) At 63 years old, you don’t stop.
(03/20/2021) I get drunk again for the second night in the row with you. It helps to release these buried emotions deep in me.
(03/22/2021) Burning the past away because the past is the past and has no role in the present.
(03/24/2021) Good times with Mom.
(03/25/2021) Newest hangout during this depressive phase that started sometime mid Feb 2021.
(03/25/2021) Admiring you from a distance, mom.
(03/26/2021) Woke up early morning feeling better for a brief moment to see the sun rise. Lately, Ive been waking up late in the day, It’s not my normal. But today, there isn’t a sunrise that can help.
(03/26/2021) Outdoor therapy for the both of us.
(03/27/2021) It's becoming a daily thing being outside with nature with you, mother.
(03/30/2021) They’ve been spending more time outdoors because they’re showing signs of depression too.
(04/04/2021) Movies, all day, everyday from the 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s.
(04/04/2021) She spoils them with human food.
(04/05/2021) After we see a sad movie. We had to come outside to feel better.
(04/05/2021) Showing mother what blue hour is.
(04/06/2021) Another day, another sunset with mother.
(04/08/2021) Some things in life are ok being the same forever. In this case, mother making delicious breakfast.
(04/08/2021) She prepares lunch soon after finishing with breakfast.
(04/11/2021) The endless effort to keep her house clean.
(04/11/2021) It’s been days trying to get a photo for you, mom. I finally got it!
(04/11/2021) After spending several days straight watching movies, we come back out when one of those movies hurt you.
(04/11/2021) Those dogs look up to you, including this one.
(04/18/2021) We take a small outdoor break in between movies.
(04/21/2021) As per usual, she stands guard as I come out to do my therapy.
(04/24/2021) Mother brushes Dakota’s teeth while she gives her a bath.
(04/26/2021) We turned the living room into a bedroom.
(04/30/2021) We play poker in between movies. Things to keep our minds occupied.
(05/01/2021) Mother gets a haircut to make her feel more beautiful. And she does.
(05/09/2021) Mothers Day celebrated with a heart shaped pizza. I make any kind of effort to make you feel special.
(05/12/2021) The night turned beautiful with thunder and rain. The mystery of the unknown makes me smile.
(05/15/2021) Mother, anxiously sits by the edge of the sofa, watching a movie during a thunderstorm. It was a good movie.
(05/17/2021) We start the day with a movie as usual. We’ve been movie bingeing for weeks now, usually 5 movies a day. It eventually becomes a problem finding good movies after seeing some really good ones. You kinda become a snotty critic. There was days we had a good runs and there was bad runs.
(05/17/2021) Mother sleeps as I continue the night without her. Thats the couch I’ve been sleeping on for the past month. For unknown reasons, I just couldn’t sleep alone.
(05/20/2021) She finally sleeps after struggling with her anxiety for an hour.
(05/21/2021) My appearance was the least of my worries.
(05/25/2021) She starts to exercise in fear of death from health reasons. I keep time for her and encourage her to not stop.
(05/26/2021) She meditates by reading her bible.
(05/28/2021) Mother makes me a plate of eggs and pancakes. Feeling like a kid, again.
(05/28/2021) In-door landscape of my daily life.
(05/28/2021) My only view of nature from the other side of the fence.
(06/02/2021) Clouds are not looking the same as they did in the heaviest part of the depression. They were surreal. It was like it was the first time I ever saw clouds.
(06/02/2021) She puzzles on her puzzle book she got few days back. She starts working her mind to prevent the development of dementia.
(06/04/2021) Next to parents unconditional love. There’s a dogs love towards their human. Here, Blueberry begs, begs and begs to cuddle.
(06/04/2021) It’s June and I continue being at home since March without any interest to go out and seeing the world.
(06/05/2021) Another great evening outside with mother and her little dogs.
(06/06/2021) My mother checks each dog by hand for fleas like they were kids.
(06/07/2021) Unknown to him, the hope he gave me when I suffered from intense fear of losing my mind.
(06/08/2021) Back at my old throne, chair by the window and without cigarettes.
(06/09/2021) Invictus and new hope.
(06/09/2021) Late night games, to make life more bearable.
(06/11/2021) The day I see grey: Life is not just black and white but in-between, there is grey; gradient from life to death. How is life gonna be now?
(06/12/2021) My only model as I stay in my cave avoiding other human beings.
(06/13/2021) Things are starting to feel normal again. The living room returns from looking like a bedroom. And Im back to sleeping alone.
(06/14/2021) She picks figs off her fig tree She is an amazing woman and powerful but also fragile. In a twisted way, it makes sense.
(06/16/2021) A new look for the house. There you used to be a big fucking tree for 20 years in front of the house. It was taken down in two days.
(06/17/2021) Few months later, I get that sunrise Ive looked for. Thanks, Lana.
(06/17/2021) A phone call intermission, to what would be a 10 hour and 46 minute call with a new friend, Lana
(06/18/2021) George, first person to visit me at home in 3 months or so. Here, he poses in front of the backdrop I got months ago in preparation to start work again. The symptoms are almost at zero.
(06/18/2021) Late night shooting is my entertainment along with music and messages exchanged with my lady.
(06/19/2021) Its been a while my two-wheeled friend. I get you in shape for the ride later today. Pedals forward, head on into the wind and live fast, again.
(06/19/2021) I went out and rode my bike for the first time since 5 months ago. I rode 8-10 miles at avg. speed 15mph and no shortness -of- breath. I did get some anxiety during the ride, racing thoughts and when I rested, brief floor-shifting sensation. It’s annoying but controllable. I’ll still call this a success. Post ride, minor anxiety but nothing intrusive still.
(06/20/2021) Long nights and long talks and almost at the cut off, 8 hours, with you. Madness shared by two.
(06/20/2021) Bird Effect takes flight into the light. I start to share my findings to the world in Instagram. Pass on the knowledge so others may help themselves.
(06/21/2021) My print station. Today, I prints some as usual every other random week.
(06/21/2021) Lunch with mother. Here, I caught her by surprise with the camera pointing at her.
(06/19/2021) Post nicotine withdrawal induced depression and anxiety. I go out on my second bike ride in the same week, to tamper off any leftover symptoms. And notice, my biking shadow. Which I haven't seen in months since my last bike ride attempt. But now, I’m feeling dangerous, again.
(06/22/2021) Day 1: Madness shared by two. Here, we meet for the first time in person and agree to date, after, three weeks of all day texting and long hour phone calls.
(06/23/2021) First night over.
(06/24/2021) Took my first drive in 4 months today and drove to see you, dad. We hug and talk just like before. It felt like it hasn’t been that long. I don’t know if that is a good thing but sometimes, those things that do not change are defying life’s rules.
(06/24/2021)A disturbed meal: On this day, Lana and I share our first meal but a failure of communication takes a 180 turn. She walks away, leaving me behind wondering what happen. Is this the beginning of the end?
(06/25/2021) Starting all over again. Post recovery, I do my first 15 miles.
(06/26/2021) My first job of this year. A bit rusty but still was able to catch good moments.
(06/26/2021) My first visit since November 2020.
(06/27/2021) I have been in MMC many times before but tonight, I experience a personal connection with it. I experience something new because this time, it marks my first time visiting my girl at work.
(06/28/2021) That was me when I was a kid. I would ride everywhere in the hood. And I still do.
(06/28/2021) Its been days you haven’t been happy with the "no bread diet" but today, for a brief moment of happiness, you indulge in some delicious pizza from Armandos. If we happen to die today, let us die happy and with a full belly.
(06/29/2021) The daily ride during a heat wave. Im almost at 100%
(06/29/2021) Into the minds of others: I bike to Moonbeans, last years hangout, to check out the place since I was MIA this year. I see tables filled with drawings and messages left from those who visit.
(06/29/2021) I save you from food poisoning by bringing you pedialyte.
(06/30/2021) First hangout coming out of my cave of turmoil. Great talks and great hangouts as usual. This photo marks post near death experience with lightning you recently had in your vacation.
(06/30/2021) Later in the hangout, we get dumb and create “art” for your brewery business.
(06/30/2021) The late-night hangouts: We eat. We stay up late and we fornicate. It was a night of orgasmic proportions.
(07/01/2021) The second visit because she says she likes surprise visits.
(07/01/2021) My famous cousin, Juan, rolls tonight with a GT just like mine. Yippie I oh, yippie I ay!
(07/03/2021) To be taken serious, you must act, think and dress serious. Then, you can go out into the world and be successful.
(07/04/2021) I enter the world of creative photography.
(07/04/2021) I ride up and show up chasing sunsets again just like I used to. It felt familiar but good.
(07/04/2021) One of many freedoms in life is the ability to sit still and enjoy the calmness within a tamed mind. The art of mindfulness.
(07/04/2021) Playing catch up with family and friends since Ive returned to the world. Here, I visit Raul at his new job as a PA.
(07/04/2021) Eating by the street at a bus stop, I find myself feeling comfortable and reliving my life the same way before the dark journey.
(07/05/2021) 10 years together. Many wheels, tires, and tubes throughout the years but always the same solid frame. It's a work of art.
(07/05/2021) No matter how old you get or how old I am. You don’t stop looking out for me, regardless of the weight of a long and dangerous life on you. No matter what. Thanks, Dad.
(07/06/2021) The late-night hangouts: We hang out watching the storm play outside. It was a night to remember forever. You tell me “ I love you” tonight. (12)
(07/07/2021) My daily bike ride consisting of 13 miles today. Something is good than nothing.
(07/07/2021) Our first public appearance at Moonbeans. Here, I sit across you, watching you, admiring you, as you start your first school assignments. It was a good hangout.
(07/08/2021) First time seeing you drunk. You sleep off the alcohol and I look after you. Thats what we do, look after each other.
(07/09/2021) Our third public appearance as a couple and my first outing at a restaurant since Ive left my cave. It’s you, since Ive met you. Who brings me out here into the public. But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
(07/09/2021) Another 20 miles today.
(07/11/2021) Worth the struggle that comes with biking.
(07/12/2021) Just the perfect mood to start my day with a morning ride. “ Im feeling dangerous” Because Im gaining control of my emotions again and cycling helps with that. And today, its one of those “ lets not deal with relationship emotions kind of day”
(07/12/2201) “𝘐𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦” I'm feeling like I've been reborn and I'm starting again at the age of 33 with memories of a past life. This feeling is overwhelming. It's strange but I notice the value of it. This comes from post-depression and so I’m in the adjustment period.
(07/12/2201) As an adult, we learn from kids that we’re still in a playground. The difference is that our playground has no boundaries. We have endless potential. We can learn from kids just as much as kids learn from us.
(07/12/2021) Found out shadows also have a good and a bad side.
(07/12/2021) I end my day with these nurses.
(07/16/2022) I roll up to have breakfast with my babygirl despite her breaking up with me yesterday over an argument. My first attempt to move on with her.
(07/16/2021) Only in good spirits, I am playful. Lately, its been difficult to be.
(07/18/2021) I visit a very good friend at the ER. It's remarkable the loyalty and support you show me. There is a difference among the general human population.
(07/18/2021) 20 miles a day is the minimum. Bike therapy always helps the glooming darkness that creeps in my life.
(07/20/2021) Where extraordinary begins and ends. Maybe, I should stop holding people to the same standards I hold myself too. This is where I stop looking at people’s potential and accept them for who they are in the moment I meet them.
(07/21/2021) A mid day ride with one of my favorite humans in life.
(07/21/2021) Plotting to take over the world. I take this moment and plan out my future for the next following months.
(07/22/2021) Lost in translation: I make an attempt to salvage this relationship but Ive lost you to what you call “ soul searching” journey. But, I smell bullshit. “The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.”
(07/23/2021) Day 1: I start drumming again. An attempt to complete my childhood dreams in my adult years.
(07/24/2021) Start my days as usual, eating outside with Dakota mad dogging me.
(07/24/2021) The mysterious bike girl Ive encountered couple of times.
(07/24/2021) It's the little pleasures in dark times that make a difference.
(07/25/2021) A mid day stroll at a park with the ducks.
(07/26/2021) My view entering ER trauma 1 room, I see my dad unresponsive.
(07/26/2021) Taken upstairs, still not waking up or responding.
(07/26/2021) An open invite for good company on social media.
(07/27/2021) He wakes up during the night and is able to eat on his own.
(07/27/2021) I take a lunch break from watching my dad at the hospital.
(07/27/2021) By his side, no matter what. No excuses. No running away when shit gets heavy. This is love. This is honor. This is respect. This is family. There’s not many people like us out there.
(07/27/2021) We finally hangout like the old days.
(07/28/2021) You’re mad about your situation and you take It out on me but I'm still here. It’s been a thing lately, people not being able to suffer well.
(07/28/2021) We share a meal together as father and son.
(07/28/2021) Denise, you were great to have around in dark times. Your vibe and spirit was uplifting, not only with my dad but with other things going on in my life.
(07/29/2021) An invite from Merari, I gladly take to distract myself from a recent breakup. No alcohol because I don’t miss that life.
(07/30/2021) I spent five years chasing meaning through my photography, meaning in everything and anything in life including death, with full awareness; from strangers to family and everything in-between. And found myself feeling lonely. All alone, even in crowds, because most don’t see the meaning in the present time. Much less, appreciate it. If lucky, they see meaning in those moments, when those moments are gone. Lost opportunities. I've concluded, after the chase, I find everything is meaningful and at the same time, it can be also meaninglessness. Because no one else can see that same meaning I see. No one. No one to coexist with meaning. What matters now, is how I decide to live my life with this knowledge….
(07/30/2021) A message to a friend... 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱! 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶! 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘬. 𝘓𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵. 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
(07/30/2021) My first critical mass ride. It's also my first social ride in 8+ years.
(07/31/2021) Ruben, the groom, invites me to his wedding. It took them 12 years for this moment in time.
(08/01/2021) And the daydreaming continues…. “𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦.”
(08/01/2021) Im trying something new here, respecting peoples privacy but still document life.
(08/01/2021) We meet up. We chat. We laugh and have a great time.
(08/03/2021) The beanie I brought you helps you not feel cold in the hospital.
(08/03/2021) I sit out watching the rain storm come in. I enjoy those mysterious vibes life throws at us, humans.
(08/04/2021) A failed attempt to not photograph life but I found this to be very interesting. They plotting the take over!
(08/04/2021) Nothing special going on here. Just taking a quick break and admiring my two-wheeled pony.
(08/05/2021) The last day at the hospital, I bring you coffee and sweet bread.
(08/06/2021) Sharpening the medic mind.
(08/06/2021) “You don’t have to live forever. You just have to live.”
(08/07/2021) “𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘰𝘧 “𝘶𝘴” 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥. 𝘐𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺.”
(08/07/2021) Different day. Different hospital. Different situation. Same devotion.
(08/08/2021) Mid day strolls and bike rides in 100 degree weather.
(08/09/2021) Day 1: The path to my flight medic patch.
(08/09/2021) The Reunion: After a year, we talk like there was no time apart.
(08/11/2021) I was able to conquer the physical addiction to nicotine and the severe withdrawals that came with it and simultaneously quitting alcohol and caffeine cold turkey, without any external help. Only with my mind. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞.
(08/11/2021) Our daily hangout.
(08/11/2021) Bury me or cremate me with my bike. So, I can bike in the eternal dream.
(08/12/2021) I meet Karla for the first time, inspiring me to photograph her for being different and interesting.
(08/12/2021) A night of new experiences.
(08/13/2021) “ Thank you for lifting my spirits. I love you” He says to me as I put him to bed after making him feel better.
(08/13/2021) Life is starting to look good again. “ For a moment, a brief moment, I believed I was unworthy of love. I didn’t deserve to be cared for…” Yeah, lets not feel this way again.
(08/14/2021) Things are looking gloomy for you. It’s a lonely battle despite me being here for you.
“ The act of bravery is to come to terms with the fact that you’re a mortal and limited and to live for forthrightly, regardless “
(08/14/2021) I didn't think I would see local shows but here I am at my first show since the start of 2021. Here, Moonrabbit performs their first show for 2021.
(08/16/2021) Take you out riding on the streets for the first time.
(08/17/2021) 700+ miles since I started to bike again on June 19, 2021.
(08/17/2021) “𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘐𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘛𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘛𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘛𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶.”
(08/20/2021) “𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺” Truck vs bike, inches away from hitting me. There this stillness in the air when death is near. I brace for impact but nothing, not today. The closest, closest call of them all. I...am...alive! Tony: 1. Truck: 0 Death: 0
(08/20/2021) 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝. I know I will look back at this very moments later in life. I notice the value of the present.
(08/21/2021) “𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘶𝘴. 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. 𝘈 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵”
(08/21/2021) A night of strangers to friends, I meet Annett.
(08/21/2021) Creating pleasurable moments because sometimes, it seems like the good times are more temporary than the bad ones.
(08/22/2021) Studying continues...
(08/23/2021) Working out continues for weeks straight.
(08/24/2021) A day with a realtor. Nydia hires me to help her out with her brand.
(08/24/2021) A true friend with the courage to tell me what shit I am. Here, 8 days now since you got Covid.
(08/25/2021) “𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳.”
(08/26/2021) Its the little pleasures in life that make a difference. 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝.
(08/26/2021) For a moment, the sky lends hope.
(08/27/2021) My second critical mass ride.
(08/28/2021) We sieze whatever time we got left together and enjoy each others company.
(08/28/2021) Another year, another birthday celebration for Raul.
(08/29/2021) He asks for broccoli and cheese for dinner.
(08/29/2021) Make my way out to the trails. Its been a year but Im back here.
(08/30/2021) She prepares her grocery list.
(08/30/20210) “𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦.” says, my father.
(09/01/2021) A day of 𝐞𝐧·𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭·𝐞𝐧·𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. I accept what is and what is not and peacefully move on. To reach acceptance in the purest form, without any substance abuse or co-dependency, just true grit is one of the best rewards you can give yourself. Bye, Money.
(09/01/2021) The sky is calling me… The thought of becoming a pilot excites me.
(09/02/2021) Our tradition continues, we meet up at our spot and chat it up. Lets see what comes next...
(09/03/2021) Devotion is rare nowadays among “friends” and more so with “family”. Here, my mother cuts the hair of this man, her uncle, who hasn't been able to take care of himself for years due to a disability. She’s been responsible for him for 40+years because of a promise she made to her grandmother before passing. She kept her word and promise all these years and continues to do so. A promise is a promise, that must be kept. And your word is a reflection of your character and the first currency exchange with others.
(09/03/2021) It doesn’t look like much but the peace it offers is paramount.
(09/03/2021) It feels good driving a car, again. Biking is cool but yeah, driving is also cool.
(09/04/2021) I peacefully eat dinner at a park inside my car all alone.
(09/05/2021) A spontaneous hang out with my long time crush, Rosario. This crush on her has been alive since I was 20.
(09/06/2021) Post work out outside in full warm ups in 100 degree weather. “ You struggle now in the workout. so you won’t struggle to survive later.”
(09/06/2021) A night bike ride at the trails to spice life up because the darkness is an ally.
(09/08/2021) A morning workout outside in Texas heat full warm ups again.
(09/08/2021) We hangout. We chat. We have a good time.
(09/09/2021) Another day. Another workout.
(09/09/2021) I break my bike record. (35:47)
(09/09/2021) A night with a musician. I come out making an effort of enjoying local music more and more.
(09/10/2021) It has been a few years since I helped students become good paramedics. So, here I am, passing on my knowledge and 7 years of experience, and more years to come.
(09/11/2021) We hangout. We chit chat. We bullshit because life can be too serious at times.
(09/12/2021) I ride during a storm to get my daily miles because what’s the worse thing that can happen? death? You can't kill what is not afraid to die.
(09/13/2021) My usual bike ride view in the evening. Life is colorful and magical, that includes the darkness that comes with it.
(09/14/2021) My medic skills come in handy again with my father. Knowledge is lifesaving. I practice my knew flight medic knowledge in real time.
(09/14/2021) It has become an issue in my life.
(09/15/2021) A day in the hospital with my dad, things are progressing worse and worse with him. But, I am here till end.
(09/15/2021) For a brief moment, Lupita, joins me for lunch and becomes good company to have.
(09/16/2021) Day 1: The fight starts now. We find out he has throat cancer.
(09/17/2021) The path to becoming a flight medic continues with daily long hours of reading.
(09/17/2021) She is back to running smoothly again.
(09/17/2021) A late dinner date with my sweet mother.
(09/18/2021) I go extra on the work out today. It is only gonna get more intense from here.
(09/19/2021) It took me 2 hours to convince you to come to the hospital. You almost died again.
(09/19/2021) An unscheduled emergency surgery to save my dad. We speed walk through the empty halls of the hospital on a Sunday afternoon.
(09/19/2021) I saved my dad and she saved me from hunger. I owe you. Thank you, Esmer.
(09/20/2021) I notice the other essential medical workers such this speech therapist, Bri. In appreciation of her, I eventually give her a little print.
(09/20/2021) Another essential medical worker who I gave a print too. Her name is Carmen.
(09/20/2021) Watch the vulnerable until they stop being vulnerable. I keep him company even if he sleeps during my visit.
(09/20/2021) One last look before I go home, just incase he is pretending and gets up.
(09/20/2021) A night of last laughs and great talks.
(09/21/2021) A night of son duties, I make my way out to advocate for my dad with the help of this sweet nurse. Thanks for looking out for my dad and I, Marysol. She received a print from me.
(09/22/2021) Morning workout during fasting continues despite the current events with my dad. Im making a point to be discipline about it.
(09/22/2021) Amanda, great work ethics and sassy attitude, she received a print from me
(09/22/2021) I admire Karla’s bedside manners with my dad on this day. She will be an exceptional R.N. in the future.
(09/23/2021) It was a short lived dose of happiness. My bike eventually failed me, again. Time to move on and do something else for cardio.
(09/23/2021) A lunch break with Yvette.
RIP
(09/24/2021) Adriana, sweetheart of a nurse, who kept her cool with all the family drama today.
(09/25/2021) My sister, Gina, never forgets my birthday. Thanks for the surprise.
(09/25/2021) Dakota hating the bath and me for forcing her.
(09/28/2021) Cheesecake is a must and has been since 18.
(09/28/2021) My mother takes me out to China Cafe for my 34th birthday.
(09/28/2021) I visit and help him out on my day.
(09/28/2021) My new toy (pistol) to guarantee more years.
(09/29/2021) I go out for an evening hike for the first time in 4, maybe 5 years. There’s no flat tires in hiking.
(09/29/2021) They’re not hiking boots but they are better than shoes.
(09/30/2021) A noon hike, doubling the distance. It was hot but you struggle now, so you won’t struggle to survive later.
(09/30/2021) You ain't hiking if you don’t get a blister or two.
(09/30/2021) Im not much for selfies but lately, Im putting more effort in documenting my own human experience.
(09/30/2021) I meet up with Rabbit for another night of great music.
(09/30/2021) Hanging out with local artist.
10/01/2021) First time at the movies in years. The many saints of newark brings me out here. It was pretty good.
(10/01/2021) I meet Victoria, local writer, for the first time in admiration of what she does “ Poetry on demand”
(10/02/2021) Its work out day and here I finish my morning workout.
(10/02/2021) The evening hike at the trials. This is the beginning of the hike and the trails are looking good.
(10/02/2021) The view before the rain storm came and cut the hike short. I get to use some of the tools I carry; poncho and headlamp.
(10/03/2021) My mom and I go visit my dad at his temporary home. At this moment, I could feel their forbidden love with roots to the days before I was born. It was quite magical to see and feel.
(10/03/2021) We go out for lunch at lubys and enjoy each others company.
(10/03/2021) New hiking shoes because the proper equipment matters a great deal.
(10/04/2021) I get an xbox to distract myself from all the daily goals Ive placed on myself (Fitness,Flight medic)
(10/04/2021) The evening hike and view before another rain storm comes and rains on me. Poncho time!
(10/04/2021) I break them in with the first couple of miles in rain and mud.
(10/05/2021) Something very interesting about her and her responsibility of being the gate keeper, checking for symptoms and temperature.
(10/05/2021) He struggles with pain and with his new life conditions.
(10/05/2021) The suffering is less with good company. A moment before this photo, my dad thanks me for being there for him.
(10/06/2021) Morning workout during a 12 hour fasting. I need to add more calories. I felt sluggish half way through.
(10/06/2021) Im breaking them in with more miles.
(10/06/2021) Just before the trials go dark. I see this view just going up a small hill in almost darkness without a light.
(10/07/2021) Leo, former paramedic student who I helped become a paramedic, is now the attending medic to my dads distress call.
(10/07/2021) He is frustrated with the constant E.R. visits and his new living conditions.
(10/08/2021) Life is rough and gives no breaks. But, this man doesn’t give a fuck and doesn’t quit.
(10/08/2021) My first valley house show. Ive heard about them but never been invited until now. Thanks, Rabbit.
(10/10/2021) One of my workouts, I squad, lifting the medicine ball up and then striking it down on the floor. It doesn’t seem much but its a good one.
(10/10/2021) Another of my workouts. I dead light just 100lbs. Ive done more before but It triggers my back injury from E.M.S.
(10/10/2021) Same as before, one of the workouts I do. I lift 25lbs each hand. I can do more weight but it will trigger my torn rotary cuff.
(10/10/2021) She keeps watch as I workout today.
(10/11/2021) Just few minutes after this photo, the tire eventually pops, tearing the tire. I cant catch a break during all this constant obligations and expectations.
(10/11/2021) Its been about 3 weeks and I finally get to ride. I struggled a bit but it was happiness on two wheels.
(10/12/2021) I sit by him, attempting to study and he trys to sleep, knowing he is with company he wants.
(10/13/2021) I see myself in him. I think, at some point, I will be there but who will be in the room with me? just as I am there with him.
(10/14/2021) It was a nice ride until I was left again stranded some miles away from taking this photo. I go back to hiking after this.
(10/16/2021) There is this madness in us, that is unleashed, when life keeps pushing down on us. We push back and we laugh at it. It’s been a rough year, death was near but we make it to 82. Till the end without fear! Happy Birthday!
(10/16/2021) Its warming to see them in speaking terms. It helps to understand all the turmoil they put me through as a kid because of their love. Their forbidden love shows each time they are near to each other.
(10/17/2021) I go out into the woods to find my solace.
(10/19/2021) At a Dr’s appointment, life presents to me the full circle we run around in. Just as my dad would look after me as a kid. I now do the same with him. We go from a kid to an adult to eventually come back to being a kid again at an older age.
(10/19/2021) Peaceful hikes & Simple Views : Ive given a thought or two to invite some people but at the last minute, I don’t want to share this peaceful time with anyone else. Ive felt alone on this earth for a very long time since my adolescences without a choice but now, I choose to be alone as an adult.
(10/20/2021) I start my day laughing with my mom. She laughs because each time I photograph her, I capture her doing a funny face.
(10/20/2021) Bitches, photography and how much the valley sucks kind of talks with George Glass.
(10/21/2021) He was excited for me to take him out of his room in the nursing home. He’s been in quarantine for days as a precaution because he recently got out of the hospital. He says anything helps, even the visits, help him endure the new life for him.
(10/26/2021) I sit on a couch at bar and I see this in front me. I keep staring at this painting for a while and I manage to zone out, as if I teleported myself to the sea.
(10/26/2021) A night at open mic, Arnold, the brother of an EMS friend, performance and kills it with the help of the host, Ray, who holds the microphone by the guitar the entire 3 songs he played. Its moments like these that make me come out into society.
(10/28/2021) I make a wallpaper out of the IPA Honorable Mentions page because it gives me inspiration knowing my photos were selected. I found out 14,000 plus photographers summited to the contest.
(10/27/2021) The hikes continue.
(10/28/2021) A night out with the band MoonRabbit.
(10/28/2021) Since the contest results, Ive been motivated to go out and find abnormal or rare photos for future contest. Here is an interesting moment of a local musician dressed as cat women turning her amp seconds before starting her act.
(10/29/2021) The 3 am after party with local musicians.
(10/29/2021) Another night, another show with Rabbit and Cameron.
(10/30/2021) I go for the hills on this hike. I change my route and hang for bit at these hills to see the night come in.
(10/30/2021) I was nominated by the band as the 4th member of Moon Rabbit.
(10/31/2021) In between studying, photography and preparing to go back to EMS. I visit my dad, helping him adjust to his new life.
(11/01/2021) One of my new joys in life during a hike is seeing the last light leave and hike without using a flash light during the night. Theres a primal feeling to it and also, an element of danger, that I enjoy.
(11/02/2021) I somehow took over and photograph this Weslaco High School Dance Team. Photography opens many doors to different worlds.
(11/03/2021) Life is a canvas already painted by an artist and we just live in that art. The layers, grass, tress, sky and clouds. Its beautiful and incredible.
(11/05/2021) The beginning of one of my favorite sections of my hike route. This trails takes you into an isolated part of the trail where its just you and nature.
(11/06/2021) Dogs, they’re the best. He reaches under the fence looking for attention and love.
(11/07/2021) I escape the new world and go to another world, the old world.
(11/09/2021) She worries for me because Im going back to being a paramedic.
(11/10/2021) A night hike with a full moon. Sun light goes and moon night comes and paints the trail floor for me. Its romantic and magestic.
(11/11/2021) I like making her laugh. That be for sure number one thing I like in this life list.
(11/12/2021) My first shift back, I catch myself trying to keep up and find my rhythm again. Im amazed with the attention to detail and the things I was on top of before as a full time medic and where I am at now starting all over again. I’m competing with my own ghost.
(11/13/2021) A day of studying and evening of hikes. I force myself to hike at least 4 miles.
(11/14/2021) She starts her day with a smile. I make her laugh while we breakfast because I constantly photograph her around the house.
(11/16/2021) Another hike, another great scenery.
(11/17/2021) My dad, he looks forward to 3pm bingo and his daily visitors.
(11/18/2021) My uncle (left) and his cousin (right) help me out with my car.
(11/19/2021) I attend a first class at my work. The more knowledge the better I can be.
(11/20/2021) Rabbit at his own event Chrisapalooza, celebrating his birthday.
(11/23/2021) Thats Roma, she gives me company outside soon waking up.
(11/23/2021) A mile or two deep in the trails with no other soul near me. I either study or listen to music.
(11/24/2021) I told myself I wouldn’t go out but she is cool enough to break my rule and be out.
(11/25/2021) A small family gathering over this Thanksgiving. Just you and me with the dogs, mom
(11/25/2021) Towards the back during daylight to eventually walking back out in the dark.
(11/25/2021) I think I like to play in the mud. Ive been dealing with mud lately but i don’t let it stop me from hiking. True outdoorsman hikes all seasons.
(11/27/2021) Cousin Juan and his wife join in on the hike. First people I hike with.
(11/28/2021) This view has many looks. Each hike is a different experience.
(11/29/2021) My father, searching for words in his puzzle book; an effort to keep his mind sharp at 82. I surprise him; he wasnt expecting me. I usually give him a ring before and ask him if he needs anything. He always says no and tells him he only needs my company.
(11/30/2021) My gear with a little bit of everything; Trauma kit, water, baby wipes (poop in the wild), and some others little stuff.
(11/30/2021) My shadow in hiking motion.
(11/30/2021) She prepares my meals for work the next day.
(12/04/2021) Jorge helping me get back on my bike. Ive stopped biking over a month now. I got tired of flat tires.
(12/05/2021) I bring her red roses, her favorite, to make her feel special. Now that I am a working paramedic with money. Im going to make an extra effort to treat her out.
(12/05/2021) Workout before studying.
(12/05/2021) Studying before biking.
(12/05/2021) Biking before sleeping.
(12/07/2021) His getting ready to eat dinner with other folks at the nursing home.
(12/07/2021) Hiking here at night has an eerie feeling compared to Mission trails. Ill be coming here more.
(12/07/2021) Something interesting and eerie about this bench in the woods. It inspires to do a portrait here.
(12/07/2021) We continue our hang outs. The only one from my old EMS circle that kept in touch.
(12/08/2021) Im currently going through a hike mania.
(12/09/2021) Many years coming to my house during shift but never captured a photo of it till now.
(12/10/2021) I keep him company during his Dr appointment. I like his curiosity, he stares at the diagrams of the anatomy of throat.
(12/10/2021) Till next time, he is ready to go back to the nursing home.
(12/12/2021) She gives me sad eyes before going to work.
(12/14/2021) Her smile is priceless. Anything to ease the suffering.
(12/14/2021) We come rom deep roots. Theres always a homie who is down to do dangerous shit.
(12/15/2021) We’ve known each other only through IG for a couple of years and we finally meet in person for a photoshoot.
(12/15/2021) George and I hanging out as usual and talking shit about everything. One person hating is wrong but two people hating is normal.
(12/16/2021) Morning ride to wake up and start my daily hustle.
(12/16/2021) A blue hour hike. This human experience isn’t all bad.
(12/16/2021) “Help is not coming. I am the help.” is the way I live my life.
(12/16/2021) At our meet up, the kitchen where we do most of our hang outs.
(12/18/2021) A night of local musician collaborating and improvising music together. It was an honor witnessing greatness.
(12/18/2021) I don’t like many strangers but when I do, they’re cool AF like her. Its been my pleasure meeting you, Elisa.
(12/19/2021) She likes to bake and I like to eat her creations.
(12/20/2021) Randomly showing up surprising him with a visit and he says “ I knew you were coming. I felt it.”
(12/20/2021) Just me and my shadow hiking. I flirt with the idea of inviting some people but not many know how to enjoy nature.
(12/21/2021) A day at work with Maria.
(12/22/2021) Im on a roll, back to back, earning my paramedic AF status again.
(12/23/2021) fuck it, 3rd day in a row. I get called for help.
(12/24/2021) Again, get called, 4th day in a row.
(12/24/2021) I get home from work and she has this for me on the table. It’s beautiful.
(12/24/2021) She gets a present from my sister all the way from Germany. She wants me to photograph her with her gifts.
(12/24/2021) She gets creams from my brother and his wife. She is happy with her presents.
(12/25/2021) Wake up and start grinding. First is first, workout, study and then hike on repeat.
(12/25/2021) We go visit my dad. He says these kinds of visit helps him while he lives at the nursing home.
(12/27/2021) Bike adventure in the works……….I planning a ride to SPI, again.
(12/27/2021) Gil, helps me out again with my car problems. Mechanics, cause paramedics need heroes too.
(12/27/2021) One of my favorite views in my hikes.
(12/28/2021) An evening ride to lift the spirits. Therapy on wheels.
(12/28/2021) The last 2021 Open Mic night with Rabbit.
(12/29/2021) I know how to cook but I let my mom think I don’t because it gives her the feeling that I still need her in my life. Elderly people have that insecurity.
(12/30/2021) It feeling real good being back. "Saving someone's life is like falling in love. The best drug in the world. For days, sometimes weeks afterward, you walk the streets making infinite whatever you see. Once, for a few weeks, I couldn’t feel the earth. Everything I touched became lighter. Horns played in my shoes. Flowers fell from my pockets. You wonder if you’ve become immortal as if you’ve saved your own life as well. God has passed through you. Why deny it that for a moment there, why deny for a moment there god was you?"
(12/31/2021) After a busy 12 hour shift, I go out and ride a couple of miles. It was a struggle.
